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The Not 100% Complete FAQs for the Pretty Fucked Up Person in a Pretty Fucked Up World

Fed Up and Fucked Up: Our Happy Friends...

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Why waste time on being pretty fed up about being pretty fucked up over all the Fucked Up Shit in the world? What fucking good does it do anyway?

Good question. The answer, as you have already presciently guessed, is fourfold.

First, however, we should establish what being pretty fed up and pretty fucked up are.

Pretty fed up, and I'll just bet you can guess this intuitively, is the state you enter when you are annoyed, or distressed or confused or in pain in some way about something (Fucked Up Shit) and you have JUST GOTTEN REALLY FUCKING TIRED OF IT and decided enough all fucking ready, I'm just really not going to put up with this anymore.

For example, one day it's all in news that you should eat 27 carrots per week to improve sexual performance. And then four months later, people who eat an average of 14 to 15 carrots or more per week are shown to have a higher risk of going bald and developing really fat cheeks that make other people call them 'chipmunk cheeks'. And you are going along with this for awhile, eating carrots and then not eating carrots, and drinking tea, and eating broccoli which you hate and cutting down on fat, which turns out to lower your hormonal levels or what have you and then finally you just get fucking fed up and you scream 'Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up with these nutritional studies. I am sick of this bullshit! Quit it! If you can't fucking figure out whether tea or calcium or iron or Hormone Replacement Therapy is good or bad, then just shut the fuck up because I am goddamn fucking tired of listening to you!' And you go munch on some potato chips and sulk. And so on.

Pretty Fucked Up is your own personal awareness that you are both weird and unhappy - at the same time. Pretty fucked up is your personal private fuckedupness. All Fucked Up, a close cousin, is when you are just so fucking unhappy, either temporarily or as a long-term hobby, that it really doesn't fucking matter whether you are also weird or not. All Fucked Up is your public fuckedupness. In this context, the words 'Fucked up' themselves are a bright and happy synonym for unhappiness and pain in general, in whatever form and caused by whatever manner of Fucked Up Shit, who cares, it is fucking you up, what does it matter what kind of Fucked Up Shit it is. So you can be Pretty Fucked Up over a bee sting or Current Events and All Fucked Up over your girlfriend hooking up with someone else. Or vice versa. Your call. There are also lots of other ingenious ways to be Fucked Up and the chances are good that you will try many of them.

Now let's get to the four good things about being fed up and fucked up. To wit:

Good things about being pretty fed up and pretty fucked up No. 1:

It's entertaining. Being fed up and fucked up are sometimes two of the only ways your body can keep itself entertained in a boring and frequently uncaring world that is often apparently suffering from a major deficit in Equitable Happiness Distribution. Without the backup strategy of being fed up and fucked up, your body would be forced to hang out in potential meaninglessness land, a neighborhood it doesn't care for as it leads to a slow wasting death of despair and encroaching meaninglessness. You don't want to die a slow wasting death of despair and encroaching meaninglessness, now do you?

Of course not. So cut your body a break and accept that fedupness and fuckedupness are two major sources of meaning for your body. Treat it to a healthy and nutritious diet containing adequate amounts of both and your body will feel very cared for and worship you as the heroic, studly being you are.

It should be noted that everybody already knows how goddamn fucking entertaining being fed up and fucked are - which is why these are the number one world-wide leisure time activities - well ahead of gardening, television watching, and thinking about sex. Fatigue, unhappiness and disgruntlement make the world go round! Everybody else is indulging in them. Why should you be left out?

Unhappiness is a lot like sex. Sure it may look like your neighbors, parents and co-workers aren't engaging in it. Sure you may not want to think about them doing it. But behind closed doors, believe me, they are going at it. They are splashing around in gigantic pools of unhappiness, naked. That perky facade is just a social cover for their perverted and exotic fedupness and fuckedupness. They seem so normal...and yet they are getting away with all kinds of bitterness, angst, regret, despair, confusion, self-doubt, and downright exhausted irritation that you haven't even dared try!

Other People's marriages, lives, bodies, Sex Brains, Social Brains, and all their other Brains as well - are all falling apart and wreaking private and spectacular havoc for everyone else. If you don't get on the bandwagon and devote some serious quality time to your fed up and fucked up self, you will fall hopelessly behind! Why should everyone else hog up all the drama? That's unfair.

Claim your fair share and you too can confidently swagger around behind your social facade, secure in the knowledge that you are just as fed up and fucked up as everyone else. You will never again be socially isolated and unable to relate to Other People. This is the secret bonus benefit of being fed up and fucked up. As soon as you admit you are unhappy about something, people will come flocking to your side from all over the world - like moths towards flame - desperate to worship you and mingle their angst with yours in a promiscuous orgy of excited unhappiness chemicals. Hate your house with its goddamn exploding water heater? Admit it, and watch fellow terrorized homeowners come bounding to your side like excited pets. Their water heater exploded too! There is nothing as rewarding as finding someone who truly deeply hates the same things you do. Fedupness and fuckedupness are your secret tickets to personal popularity.

Oh this may not seem true - some people will try to disapprove of your fedup fucked up unhappiness. They will discourage it, they will pretend not to want to hear about it. But make no mistake, they love it so much they talk about nothing else behind your back. They can't fucking get enough of it. You couldn't shut them up if you tried. They live for it.

You might as well exploit this by reveling in your natural fed up and fucked up advantages, flaunting them or displaying them tastefully as your personality permits. Enjoy your misery! Everyone else does.

It's time that being fed up and fucked up came out of the closet as the appropriate and healthful activities they are - any time you are suffering from a personal Equitable Distribution of Happiness deficit.

Good thing about being pretty fed up and pretty fucked up No. 2:

It makes your body feel alive. When you are fed up and fucked up, multitudes of little warrior cells in your body rouse themselves from a hung-over stupor, strap on their shields and start letting out excited war-whoop noises because they are so happy they finally get to do something. They get tired of standing guard, getting drunk, and having hangovers. They exist in your body to fight, that's what they get paid for, and any time there is a good fed up, fucked up fight in the offing, they get jazzed up and start feeling worthy and important and getting over their general low self-esteem problems. This is good for your entire body as it gets enthusiastically behind the common enterprise of fighting for your welfare and starts efficiently transporting blood and chemicals and oxygen and resources all around you on the theory that you need to be in tip-top shape in order to kick some Fucked Up Shit ass. If you don't get fed up and fucked up occasionally, your entire self will get out of shape and this is not good for any part of you.

Getting fed up and fucked up are such good sources of feeling alive for a brief time that some people relentlessly overindulge and run around getting fed up and fucked up over every little goddamn thing until other people start thinking they are a psychotic pain in the ass. This is not really all that wise. It is fun to engage in a good fist-fight with life every once in a while; it is not as much fun to go around picking fights with it all the time and losing. So some people do accumulate excessive fed up and fucked up injuries and wear and tear over time. This can be avoided by the expedient strategy of Picking Your Battles. Just a special bonus tip. Picking your battles leads to more war-like fun all around!

Just as many people, however, suffer from the opposite problem in which they start to get enthusiastically fed up and fucked up over some Fucked Up Shit when all of a sudden their stern Social Inhibition Mechanism starts menacingly casting its long shadow over their childlike enthusiasm and they end up slinking out of the room, ashamed. Then their Social Inhibition Mechanism relentlessly works over their happy fed up and fucked up warrior cells in the special Torture Enforcer Room in the back of their mind until their fedupness and fuckedupness are all beat up and staggering out bloody and not much in the mood to be enthusiastic about anything any more. And after a few rounds of this harrowing scenario, said people lose their taste for fedupness and fuckedupness and become pretty much unable to get effectively pissed off or anguished over anything. These people are forced instead to spend their entire time Pretending to Be All Right and Fooling Nobody, Least of All Themselves. This Pretending condition is so widespread that it often goes by the alternate name the Human Condition. And it can really suck ass at times.

Getting fed up and fucked up can be effective antidotes to the Pretending condition because when you are fed up and fucked up, you are not pretending you are anything, you are just busy being something...and that can be a real relief.

And if these weren't enough good reasons to be fed up and fucked up, we have more! But you'll just have to guess what they are. Unless you want to get really energetic and click on the link below.


I want to know why being fed up and fucked up will make me more important than I really am....


Argue with your girlfriend for fun and profit!!

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Deep Philosophical Question: Why are people so stupid?

The ever-popular how to dump your girlfriend series

Shy girls demystsified.

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Your brain....


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