Why waste
time on being pretty fed up about being pretty fucked up over all
the Fucked Up Shit in the world? What fucking good does it do anyway?
Good question.
The answer, as you have already presciently guessed, is fourfold.
First, however,
we should establish what being pretty fed up and pretty fucked up
are.
Pretty fed
up, and I'll just bet you can guess
this intuitively, is the state you enter when you are annoyed, or
distressed or confused or in pain in some way about something (Fucked
Up Shit) and you have JUST GOTTEN REALLY FUCKING TIRED OF IT and decided
enough all fucking ready, I'm just really not going to put up with
this anymore.
For example, one
day it's all in news that you should eat 27 carrots per week to improve
sexual performance. And then four months later, people who eat an
average of 14 to 15 carrots or more per week are shown to have a higher
risk of going bald and developing really fat cheeks that make other
people call them 'chipmunk cheeks'. And you are going along with this
for awhile, eating carrots and then not eating carrots, and drinking
tea, and eating broccoli which you hate and cutting down on fat, which
turns out to lower your hormonal levels or what have you and then
finally you just get fucking fed up and you scream 'Shut the fuck
up! Shut the fuck up with these nutritional studies. I am sick of
this bullshit! Quit it! If you can't fucking figure out whether tea
or calcium or iron or Hormone Replacement Therapy is good or bad,
then just shut the fuck up because I am goddamn fucking tired of listening
to you!' And you go munch on some potato chips and sulk. And so on.
Pretty Fucked
Up is your own personal awareness
that you are both weird and unhappy - at the same time. Pretty
fucked up is your personal private fuckedupness. All Fucked Up, a
close cousin, is when you are just so fucking unhappy, either temporarily
or as a long-term hobby, that it really doesn't fucking matter whether
you are also weird or not. All Fucked Up is your public fuckedupness.
In this context, the words 'Fucked up' themselves are a bright and
happy synonym for unhappiness and pain in general, in whatever form
and caused by whatever manner of Fucked Up Shit, who cares, it is
fucking you up, what does it matter what kind of Fucked Up Shit it
is. So you can be Pretty Fucked Up over a bee sting or Current Events
and All Fucked Up over your girlfriend hooking up with someone else.
Or vice versa. Your call. There are also lots of other ingenious ways
to be Fucked Up and the chances are good that you will try many of
them.
Now let's get
to the four good things about being fed up and fucked up. To wit:
Good things
about being pretty fed up and pretty fucked up No. 1:
It's entertaining.
Being fed up and fucked up are sometimes two of the only ways your
body can keep itself entertained in a boring and frequently uncaring
world that is often apparently suffering from a major deficit in Equitable
Happiness Distribution. Without the backup strategy of being fed up
and fucked up, your body would be forced to hang out in potential
meaninglessness land, a neighborhood it doesn't care for as it leads
to a slow wasting death of despair and encroaching meaninglessness.
You don't want to die a slow wasting death of despair and encroaching
meaninglessness, now do you?
Of course not.
So cut your body a break and accept that fedupness and fuckedupness
are two major sources of meaning for your body. Treat it to a healthy
and nutritious diet containing adequate amounts of both and your body
will feel very cared for and worship you as the heroic, studly being
you are.
It should be noted
that everybody already knows how goddamn fucking entertaining being
fed up and fucked are - which is why these are the number one world-wide
leisure time activities - well ahead of gardening, television
watching, and thinking about sex. Fatigue, unhappiness and disgruntlement
make the world go round! Everybody else is indulging in them. Why
should you be left out?
Unhappiness is
a lot like sex. Sure it may look like your neighbors, parents and
co-workers aren't engaging in it. Sure you may not want to think about
them doing it. But behind closed doors, believe me, they are going
at it. They are splashing around in gigantic pools of unhappiness,
naked. That perky facade is just a social cover for their perverted
and exotic fedupness and fuckedupness. They seem so normal...and
yet they are getting away with all kinds of bitterness, angst, regret,
despair, confusion, self-doubt, and downright exhausted irritation
that you haven't even dared try!
Other People's
marriages, lives, bodies, Sex Brains, Social Brains, and all their
other Brains as well - are all falling apart and wreaking private
and spectacular havoc for everyone else. If you don't get on the bandwagon
and devote some serious quality time to your fed up and fucked up
self, you will fall hopelessly behind! Why should everyone
else hog up all the drama? That's unfair.
Claim your fair
share and you too can confidently swagger around behind your social
facade, secure in the knowledge that you are just as fed up and fucked
up as everyone else. You will never again be socially isolated and
unable to relate to Other People. This is the secret bonus benefit
of being fed up and fucked up. As soon as you admit you are unhappy
about something, people will come flocking to your side from all over
the world - like moths towards flame - desperate to worship you and
mingle their angst with yours in a promiscuous orgy of excited unhappiness
chemicals. Hate your house with its goddamn exploding water heater?
Admit it, and watch fellow terrorized homeowners come bounding to
your side like excited pets. Their water heater exploded too!
There is nothing as rewarding as finding someone who truly deeply
hates the same things you do. Fedupness and fuckedupness are your
secret tickets to personal popularity.
Oh this may not
seem true - some people will try to disapprove of your fedup fucked
up unhappiness. They will discourage it, they will pretend not to
want to hear about it.
But
make no mistake, they love it so much they talk about nothing else
behind your back. They can't fucking get enough of it. You couldn't
shut them up if you tried. They live for it.
You might as well
exploit this by reveling in your natural fed up and fucked up advantages,
flaunting them or displaying them tastefully as your personality permits.
Enjoy your misery! Everyone else does.
It's time that
being fed up and fucked up came out of the closet as the appropriate
and healthful activities they are - any time you are suffering from
a personal Equitable Distribution of Happiness deficit.
Good thing
about being pretty fed up and pretty fucked up No. 2:
It makes your
body feel alive. When
you are fed up and fucked up, multitudes of little warrior cells in
your body rouse themselves from a hung-over stupor, strap on their
shields and start letting out excited war-whoop noises because they
are so happy they finally get to do something. They get tired of standing
guard, getting drunk, and having hangovers. They exist in your body
to fight, that's what they get paid for, and any time there is a good
fed up, fucked up fight in the offing, they get jazzed up and start
feeling worthy and important and getting over their general low self-esteem
problems. This is good for your entire body as it gets enthusiastically
behind the common enterprise of fighting for your welfare and starts
efficiently transporting blood and chemicals and oxygen and resources
all around you on the theory that you need to be in tip-top shape
in order to kick some Fucked Up Shit ass. If you don't get fed up
and fucked up occasionally, your entire self will get out of shape
and this is not good for any part of you.
Getting fed up
and fucked up are such good sources of feeling alive for a brief time
that some people relentlessly overindulge and run around getting fed
up and fucked up over every little goddamn thing until other people
start thinking they are a psychotic pain in the ass. This is not really
all that wise. It is fun to engage in a good fist-fight with life
every once in a while; it is not as much fun to go around picking
fights with it all the time and losing. So some people do accumulate
excessive fed up and fucked up injuries and wear and tear over time.
This can be avoided by the expedient strategy of Picking Your Battles.
Just a special bonus tip. Picking your battles leads to more war-like
fun all around!
Just as many people,
however, suffer from the opposite problem in which they start to get
enthusiastically fed up and fucked up over some Fucked Up Shit when
all of a sudden their stern Social Inhibition Mechanism starts menacingly
casting its long shadow over their childlike enthusiasm and they end
up slinking out of the room, ashamed. Then their Social Inhibition
Mechanism relentlessly works over their happy fed up and fucked up
warrior cells in the special Torture Enforcer Room in the back of
their mind until their fedupness and fuckedupness are all beat up
and staggering out bloody and not much in the mood to be enthusiastic
about anything any more. And after a few rounds of this harrowing
scenario, said people lose their taste for fedupness and fuckedupness
and become pretty much unable to get effectively pissed off or anguished
over anything. These people are forced instead to spend their entire
time Pretending to Be All Right and Fooling Nobody, Least of All
Themselves. This Pretending condition is so widespread that it
often goes by the alternate name the Human Condition. And it can really
suck ass at times.
Getting fed up
and fucked up can be effective antidotes to the Pretending condition
because when you are fed up and fucked up, you are not pretending
you are anything, you are just busy being something...and that can
be a real relief.
And if these
weren't enough good reasons to be fed up and fucked up, we have more!
But
you'll just have to guess what they are. Unless you want to get really
energetic and click on the link below.
I
want to know why being fed up and fucked up will make me more important
than I really am....
prettyfedup.com